Trust and Friendship

Last night MJ had her first full-blown sleep-over.  I haven’t ever said NO to a sleep-over. She just hasn’t asked.

It is sort of like when she was a toddler, and we used to take nightly walks through the park. We never got her out of her stroller to swing or play on the playground, because we knew once we started, a walk through the park would never be so simple.   (That all ended around the age of 2.)

So, when I suggested a sleep-over for her upcoming 14th birthday, her eyes lit up and she invited 4 friends.  Three were going to spend the night; the fourth girl was only going to stay until 10:30 or so. She had never spent the night at someone’s house. She has T1D.

She is my Ian.

Ian has never been a sleep-over candidate – even prior to his diagnosis.  He doesn’t do well with things like that. He even has a hard time sleeping at his grandparents’.

And now, with T1D, he’s asked a few times, but we’ve always found alternatives to sleeping over. He has whined a few times, “I’ll never be able to prove I can stay all night if you don’t give me a chance!”

True.

But I also know Ian. The anxiety of the change in routine would be enough to literally make him sick and he’d  be home anyway.

Anyway, MJ’s friend was the last to arrive, but the girls welcomed her and were clearly glad she decided to come – at least for a little while.

A few hours in, MJ comes down and said, “Annie wants to spend the night!”

She was followed by a trail of girls…one I hardly recognized. They had given Annie a makeover; they straightened her corkscrew curls and put a flower in her hair.

Annie’s mom brought over her sleeping bag, pillow, and overnight bag. And her Lantus.

I could tell her mom was apprehensive and Annie was maybe a little nervous.  But of all the places in the world, this was a good place to start the overnight adventure.

I smiled as I thought of one of my favorite lines from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, when the creepy garage attendant takes the Ferrari from Ferris and Cameron: “You guys got nothing to worry about, I’m a professional.”

I picture Annie’s mom saying, “A professional what?

True, Annie’s been a T1D for a year or so longer than Ian. But I get it and I could tell her mom did too.

I kindly said, “Are you ok with this? She’s gonna be ok. I can get up at 2:00 and check her. MJ knows what to do. And I have juice boxes!”

She smiled, hugged Annie goodbye, and walked away.

I don’t think I could have done that so easily.

But, what a milestone.

My heart melted when MJ carefully measured out Annie’s brownie and ice cream, just like she’d do with Ian’s.

And then again, when the girls told me that they are all going to do the Diabetes Walk next fall. They want to form a team for Annie and Ian.

I believe they will make this happen.

The only glitch in this experience…planning a sleep-over on the night we change the clocks and lose an hour of much-needed sleep. The girls watched the time miraculously change from 1:59 to 3:00 on their phones.

I have to trust that it was awesome, because I got more sleep than anyone! I was sound asleep by 11:00!

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More on Perspective

Last Friday night, as we were walking Blue, Ian came to the realization that we haven’t gone on a bike ride in forever. 

Thinking about it for a minute, it turns out “forever” is how long we’ve had Blue.

We spend a lot of time outside with him  – taking several short walks a day and playing outside while he’s safely tethered on his yard stake.

I told them that next weekend we’d pump up the tires and go on a ride if we had good weather.

Blue would have to stay home while we went, obviously.  He is not ready to run beside a bike, nor do I think he ever will be.

On Sunday night, while the kids were at their dad’s, I was looking online at the possibility of a basket or carrier that would allow Blue to go on a bike ride with us.

To my surprise, they do make such a thing.

Can I imagine him sitting in it?

Yes. And no.

Not to my surprise at all, the kids had different perspectives on the idea.

I sent a group iMessage with a picture of the first basket I saw:

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Gotta love how MJ shoots down the idea rather quickly. Still, I decide to challenge my middle school daughter and press on and ask her WHY it is a bad idea….

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And as an honest 8th grader, she tells it like it is….

I immediately start laughing and tears start to form in the corners of my eyes.

To torture her, I send her another picture to show her how “cool” it is.

And then, Ian, ever the optimist, joins the conversation….

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(Thank you, Ian! I knew he’d be on my side!)

But his big sister gives him the “Talk to the Hand” emoji.

By now I am hysterically laughing to myself. The dog is looking at me like I’ve lost my mind.

And I send one more picture for laughs.

Looks like Blue won’t be taking any bike rides anytime soon.