On the 729th Day…

On the 729th day that Ian has Type 1 Diabetes, I have a lot of mixed feelings.
Tomorrow it will be 730 days….

That’s two years.
Only two years?
Two years already?

As January 4th – his “2 Year Dia-versary” – approached, I kept having this strange feeling….almost like a sense of relief or something. I almost felt “excited” for the day, like you’d feel for Christmas.   I don’t know why. It’s not like on the 2 year anniversary, we’d be “halfway done” or “almost there” or “cured.”  It’s not like we beat some milestone, or even met a goal. His A1C sucks.

Still, I felt relief.

But I also felt some sadness and some anger and some fear and some pain….

It all just came rushing back to me. The day, the day that followed, and the days after that….

And I realized that every year, every January 3rd, I will mourn the loss of that particular life we had. I think I’m entitled to that; I think it’s to be expected.

But every January 4th, I will let out a sigh of relief.  I will celebrate the life we are living now, another year of accomplishments and dreams, of growing up and finding our way.

Our First Sick Day(s)…

The flu has hit two households since Sunday and it’s killing me slowly. It started with Ian’s half-brother, then stepmom, then dad.

The kids came here Tuesday night when things got really bad over there because at that point the three of us were still healthy.

That was at 10 pm.

By 3 am…Ian was sick.

By 6:30 am…we were in the local ER (which was definitely not the same as our Children’s hospital experience)

10:00 am…home from ER after an IV of fluids and Zofran.

The midday was a blur. MJ left for the Train concert at 3:30 with my stepmom. (At this point she showed no signs of sickness).

This is when is started quietly falling apart.

The weekend Ian was diagnosed we were planning on taking all four kids to a Cavs game. (He and I missed it).

On his birthday, he had a fever and missed school and his baseball game which crushed him. I mean, everything is special on your birthday.

And now to miss his first real concert.

It hardly seems fair.

~~~~~

It’s now Friday, everyone is now on the mend. MJ and I both had it mild and now it’s just a matter of getting Ian to eat regular food again. He’s weak and tired and apprehensive about putting anything in his body.

I’m exhausted but was able to sleep 11 hours last night (with random checks at 1:00, 4:00, and 8:00.)  That probably sounds like more than enough sleep but it still doesn’t make up for 4 hours of sleep  in the previous 48 hours.

This was a tough tough week but I learned a lot about how sick days work.  I’ve read about sick days many times but until you live it, it doesn’t mean a whole lot.  I was lucky to have my sister on-call and get some advice from her and am grateful for the docs at his Children’s hospital who are super sweet at 4 in the morning. I also had some new friends from the DOC who gave me some moral support. Thanks ladies!!

We will definitely be laying low the next few days as the temps are pushing 100, but we’ve got air conditioning and even more importantly, we got through this in one piece. I wish I could say the same for Ian’s favorite bear, “Rattley.” He was already pretty ragged but after two wash cycles in 48 hours he’s looking kinda like how I feel!