New Pump Slump

I’ve been struggling to write a post about the new life we are living with the pump.  Ian got his OmniPod on March 10th, and the last two weeks have been….

Exhausting. Frustrating. Liberating. Challenging. Scary. Exciting. Annoying.  Freeing. Confusing.

Put all those emotions together…and I find myself in a New Pump Slump.

I find I don’t really want to talk about his pump with people, because it’s isn’t a magic cure.

People seem dumbfounded that he isn’t “regulated.”

People seem to think that he’s fixed now with this pump.

He’s not.

And while it is a handy-dandy, pretty amazing little piece of technology, and will eventually be so much better….I feel like we are starting over in many ways.

It’s not as scary as it was a year ago when we had so much to learn….

But it’s a change that requires  you to let go of the “control” you thought you had – giving up control and trusting this little plastic pod on his body to do the right things. Yes, we still have the power to adjust the bolus, set the basal…(don’t even get me started on the new vocabulary I’ve picked up in 13 days).

It’s hard.

What we knew worked for baseball and gym days and snacks and meals and bedtime….doesn’t work anymore.

When he goes from 170 to 44 during baseball…

When he doesn’t even feel his low of 38…

It feels like we are failing him….like we’ve forgotten everything we’ve learned.

I know that none of this is true. I know we are doing the best we can and this is just another huge lifestyle change that will get better with time.

But when you are sleeping no more than 3 hours at a time each night….it’s hard to see things that way.

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