Day After Day

I guess diabetes makes you grow up faster than you should.  You are forced to take care of yourself in a whole new way. Instead of being a 10-year-old who sneaks candy, spoils his dinner, and has midnight snacks, Ian has to be a disciplined young man who politely turns down treats, who settles on cheese for a snack, and who semi-graciously accepts he can’t have seconds if we didn’t allot for it with his meal time shot.

What a tough place to be in.  Wanting to make your own decisions, being able to make many, but facing limits all the time.

Ian’s quest for independence has been slowed down by a disease that is out of his control.

I guess after a while you just get used to it.  But that doesn’t mean he likes it. And sometimes it must just get so old…especially if he thinks to himself that this is the rest of his life.

That kind of hit me the other night.

Thursday night Ian had to eat an extra 110 carbs due to a mix up of meds.  His dad called to tell me and I knew all was well and under control. Ian was drinking a coke and eating A LOT of Doritos to compensate for 7.5 units of Humalog.

I was worried but we’d dealt with this before, so it wasn’t as scary. Besides, he loves Doritos.  He must be thrilled.

So, I sent him a text.  His reply made me feel bad.20140126-113738.jpg

It’s sad that a bowl full of Doritos can bring such a response.

I could hear it in his voice, “I’m just tired of this.”

Think of what he hears on an average, uneventful day:

Good morning.
Wash your hands and check your blood sugar.
What was your number?
Here’s your shot.

On the way to school.
Make sure you check at 10:00 to see if you need a snack.

At lunch.
Wash your hands and check your blood sugar.
What was your number?

After school.
How was your day? 
Did you have to check your blood sugar before lunch?
Were you low?
Did you have a snack at 10:00?
Did you eat all your lunch?
Was the tray what they said it would be?
Wash your hands and check your blood sugar.
What was your number?
Go get a 15g snack.

Before dinner.
Wash your hands and check your blood sugar.
What was your number?

After dinner.
Do you feel low?
I hope I counted those carbs right. Tell me if you feel low.

Before bed.
Wash your hands and check your blood sugar.
What was your number?

Tucking him in.
Night buddy. I love you. Wake me up if you need me.

Geez…no wonder sometimes he just wants to lay on the couch, put his headphones on, and be left alone.  He blocks out all the questions and the “nagging.”

And me joking about Doritos….that was probably just annoying.

As I was thinking about this post, Ian turned on one of his favorite songs for us to listen to. For real….this song is as much his favorite right now as White Walls. 

My little boy with the old soul.

Growing up so much faster than he should.

I love him so.

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2 thoughts on “Day After Day

  1. I love his response to your question, and that you kept it light hearted. I am always filled with gratitude for parents who express a deep understanding of how much they want to but just cannot relate completely. Acknowledging that seeing what he goes through isn’t going through it and giving him credit for the strength it MUST take will resonate with him in the years to follow. When I was a teen, I only heard nagging. But now, looking back, I only remember the non-d conversations with my parents. Thank you for sharing this. It is very powerful. I am really glad I happened upon your blog.

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