Happy 4th of July!!
Today marks the 6th month mark since Ian’s diagnosis.
Half a year already?
That doesn’t seem possible. And the same time, sometimes it feels like half my life.
And then I realize it’s the rest of Ian’s life.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this milestone as July approached….and actually, all the milestones of a little boy who is growing up.
Diabetes has been a power struggle for Ian. The loss of control as has probably been the hardest thing for him.
Here he was, on the verge of being more independent, making choices, having a little freedom, and some small privileges and he lost control over the most personal thing – his body.
Never mind the clothing choices he still makes, the games he chooses to play, the friends he wants to be with, and the daily decisions.
He still has choices about his food, but those choices are ultimately controlled by diabetes – when he can eat, how much he can eat, what he can eat, when he has to test…
This really hit me the other night as I was tucking him in, “Don’t worry, Mom. When I wake up and I start getting hungry, I’ll wake you up. But I’ll try to let you sleep in some.”
The mere fact that he can’t quietly get a bowl of cereal or make a Poptart without me (and medicine) is just not fair.
A 5th grader should have that freedom and feel that independence.
Yesterday he and I took an early morning bike ride and I let him lead. (Usually that is M.J.’s job but she was still asleep when we left.) He was so excited to choose the route and the competitor in him kept pressing on, making the ride longer and longer. We talked the whole bike ride about everything under the sun and when we got home and mapped the route on the iPad, we were shocked to see it was 5.5 miles – our longest ride of the summer. He was so proud and if you know Ian, this will only make him up the challenge and try to ride farther the next time.
Although it was only July 3rd, I found it fitting that the day before his half anniversary we celebrated his independence.
(Today also marks the day that I break free from the “Thoughts” title on every post. It’s more than thoughts about diabetes, it’s our life.)