Thought #21: I want to get off this rollercoaster!

Not only does Ian’s blood sugar run high and low, but so do my emotions, my energy and my days, in general.

One night I will sleep great, the next….horribly.

My appetite is up and down as well.  I don’t eat much until we sit down to dinner and even then, I am really not that hungry.

My mood is all over the place.  Yesterday I felt relatively “high”…with less tears and less sad thoughts.

Last night (Day 10) was the best night we’ve had so far.  We were almost normal again. Laughing, dancing, and singing in the kitchen after dinner.  The kids played and made a video. It felt good to feel so good, but I knew it would probably be a fleeting moment.

Today I am just blah.  After going to the grocery store and aimlessly walking around for over an hour, I have been home and have accomplished nothing except watch t.v.

Now I look at the clock and panic because I have to pick up the kids in 40 minutes.  I have nothing to show for my day at home except more groceries in the pantry.

I used to love rollercoasters.  Oddly enough, the last time I rode one was when Ian was three months old and the first ride at Cedar Point made me completely sick. I didn’t ride another ride the rest of the day.

And now I am on a rollercoaster with a track that never ends. A rollercoaster with dips and hills, high speeds, jerks and turns.

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